Part of Write Club Festival 2025

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“In the last 6 weeks I have had trouble relaxing: Strongly Agree, Agree, Don’t know, Disagree, strongly disagree.“

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A therapist’s office. An hour appointment. A therapist in therapy. But she doesn’t need to be there, no, not really? She’s just sick of them all, the leeches, the self indulgent vampires, slowly sucking the life out of her and boring her to a very dull death. 

Everyone really has overreacted. She just can’t listen to them any more. Their voices, droning on and on about their boss or their wife or their childhood trauma. It’s all just so predictable. So cliche. She’s begun to despise them, these clients, these mosquitos, their whinging, moaning, whining problems, and all their relentless noise. 

All she ever really wants to do is sit at home, watching reality TV with her cat, a Sainsbury’s taste the difference Pinot Grigio and a good vibrator.

She just needs a break, a beach with no internet access. This is all just a blip, a mistake, a few mistakes. She’s good, great, 100% completely totally fine…

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A dark comedy about connection, or lack of it. Loneliness, talking, and being listened to. Navigating the murky spaces that exist between happiness and despair. 

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Running time:​ Approximately 70 minutes

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LATECOMERS MAY NOT BE ADMITTED.

UNDER 18s ARE NOT PERMITTED INTO THE THEATRE FOR THIS PERFORMANCE. 

No re-admittance once the performance has commenced. 
Refunds and exchanges are not available.